It’s been a crazy month for me, which is partly the reason why it’s been so long since my last post. So much has happened that I simply haven’t known where to start in terms of writing it all down.
The closer I get to graduation, the more I’m starting to realize a new dream of mine. I’ve had the opportunity in the past few months to work at an elementary school. It’s hard work to say the least, and most days I come home exhausted. I have a whole new respect for teachers that I’ve never had before. With that said, it’s also been one of the most rewarding experiences I’ve ever had. I’ve always loved children, but I never saw myself in front of a classroom.
To say that the kids in my first class stole my heart would be an understatement. In the blink of an eye they became a big part of my life, and I look forward to hearing their crazy stories every morning upon entering the building.
There’s something great about kids that you don’t get to experience when interacting with adults. They’re eager, curious, innocent, and completely open. They say it like it is with no filter, and it’s so refreshing to see that in a world where everyone is constantly editing themselves to fit into society or to achieve a hidden agenda. It’s also amazing to see their thought process; how a story about cookies can easily turn into a story about their little brother, and of course the never ending question of “Why, Ms. Janet? Why?”
Unfortunatly this experience has also opened my eyes to some heartbreaking things as well. I’ve seen certain students struggle to function in a typical classroom setting. Some of the brightest kids I’ve come across are the ones who have disabilities. They have to work ten times as hard just to produce the same results as their peers, and they battle struggles every day that we can only imagine. No matter how hard we try to see things from their point of view, we won’t ever understand what it’s like to live with those conditions each day.
I’ve decided to pursue my Masters Degree in Special Education. It was a scary decision to reach, because I felt as if I were throwing away my writing dreams by accepting a new one. After much consideration and support from those around me, I realize that’s not the case. No matter what career I am in, I will always consider myself a writer. From before I can remember I would spend hours filling up notebook pages. When I sit down to write, I feel at peace.I want my future students to know that someone out there believes in them. I want to help them find what they love to do and introduce them to the world around them. I want them to know how smart they are, no matter what restrictions they may have surrounding them.
I thought graduating meant that everything was set in stone and my dreams and ambitions had already been laid out for me. It’s wonderful to know that I can keep dreaming, and the best is yet to come.